Title: Goodbyes:  Rose Tyler and John Smith 
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: G
CharacterTenth Doctor, Rose Tyler and John Smith 
Summary: End of Time. Realising that his life was about to reach another end, the Doctor decided that he needed to take a look at the things he had done, as well as said his proper goodbyes to the ones that mattered.

--------

Rose Tyler.

The woman he never thought he could be so attached to, so in love with... regardless of many other women companions he had ever had in his whole life. Yet... there was another, though he supposed now that the Doctor that Professor River Song had referred to was not him but the one he would change into... soon. Hmm...

He thought he was strong enough to be able to let her go—because honestly, despite everything there was still the fact that he was a Time Lord and she was a human and Time Lords aged much more slowly compared to humans—their relationship would not have been able to turn out well, either. It would have still hurt Rose if she remained by his side, it had been hard for Sarah-Jane and he did not want Rose to face that kind of thing either. No matter if he himself wanted to remain with Rose again. She would be hurt—no, both of them would be hurt by this.

Yet, when his meta-crisis happened... it gave him—or at least a part of him—a chance to pursue a life with Rose, even if he was not... reallyhim. How strange his fate with Rose had been.

If Rose have never met him... if he had never met Rose, things would have been very very different right now. He could not imagine how much being with Rose had changed him... made him be who he was right now. As much as he could not imagine how being with him had changed Rose throughout their journeys together.

The Doctor sighed to himself as he waited at the corner of the street. If it had been possible for him to cross into the parallel world for just a short while, he would have done it. Yet he knew he could not because Rose would have certainly tried to stop him from leaving and it would be difficult to again to say his goodbyes to them. Even if he had wanted to desperately say his goodbyes to her... and especially to his other half. Because after this, he would be all that was left of his current tenth incarnation self. After this, he would no longer be him. Hopefully Rose could take care of him very well. And even if could not be possible, he wished that he could just leave the current him and be reunited with his other self... however unlikely that option was.

Sounds of footsteps suddenly caught his attention as he saw both Jackie and younger Rose walking up towards his direction, chatting about unimportant things. He smiled weakly as he eyed Rose fondly from his position. As he watched Rose heading slowly towards her own apartment, he thought he could just take his leave before the pain started to come back to assault his weakening body.

That caught this Rose's attention as the Doctor tried his best to not appear in pain, but as just another passer-by who had a bit more of a drink than he should. He asked her of the date of the current time he was in, even though he knew it already what time period he was in. He had set it to be just before the time his ninth incarnation would make his appearance before Rose, so that his path and his past self's would not cross each other. He recalled all of the adventures he had with Rose back when he used to be in his ninth incarnation as well as his current incarnation; they sure had a lot of good memories between them, barring a few unpleasant and hurtful ones.

"I bet you'll have a very good time this year," he said as he watched her leave. She would not have been able to remember this meeting in the long run, but it did not matter. Rose would always have the other him by her side and that should be fine. He wished for her to always be happy... until the end.

The Doctor turned towards the direction where he last parked the TARDIS, before struggling to walk towards it.

Here goes nothing. Finally the hardest part...

---------------------

Rose looked up as she noticed John started twitching again in his sleep. Perhaps he was having another dream involving the original Doctor again. She smiled weakly before trying to give her reassurance towards the sleeping man that everything onwards would be all right for the two of them. It have to be, for all of their sakes. Yes, she still misses the old Doctor... as well as her old friends and companions that she had left back on her original world—part of her was also dreading the day when she would meet the parallel versions of them here—but she also realized that she felt the same way for John as she would for the original Doctor. And if the original Doctor had already changed into a new one, the more important it was for her to cherish this Doctor of hers. Her beloved John Smith.

If she was to lose John as well, she could not imagine how she could cope with it. Who knows what kind of appearance the new Doctor would have had now or what kind of personality would come with the new person. There was no guarantee that he would remain the same person as the Doctor of the previous incarnation, even if he had the same memories. No guarantee that she would even be able to like the new Doctor as she did John and her Doctor. It would be as painful as it could have been if John was to have suddenly lost all of his memories and became a new person—even if his face did not change. Or if he had to suddenly die. She did not think her heart was strong enough to face that notion...

The Doctor... and John had been the best thing that have ever happened to her life. She could not imagine how her life could have been like if she never have met the Doctor. A life without knowing the Doctor, what kind of life would that be? She had seen so much throughout her journeys with the Doctor, the experience had changed her a lot... in many ways. She doubted she could have been as strong as the Doctor had thought, when he said he entrusted John to her... if she had never met the Doctor. The Doctor had changed her life for so much...

Rose turned her attention towards the sleeping John Smith. If John really was the Doctor and not just a recreation of him, if the Doctor had never met her... what could that Doctor turned out to be?

"That was me back when I first met you."

"You made me better...!"

Perhaps she could finally understand his reasoning, for leaving her behind. That silly idiot... until the end he still wanted to make her happy. Since there was something that only John could do that the Doctor could not. Same as when he first decided to send her into Pete's world, because he knew that she could not bear it to part with her mother. And he knew it would be hard for her mother to part again with Pete.

Rose suddenly started kissing John in his sleep, regardless of whether or not he was even aware of her touch. Maybe she could finally be able to bid her goodbyes to the Doctor who left her, but she could not let herself part with her John.

No, as long as John was with her... her Doctor would always remained alive in her heart. Because John and her Doctor will always and forever be one and the same. And she hoped that wherever the Doctor is now, he could also be able to find his happiness.
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