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Title: Sins of Oneself
Series:λͺ¨λ²νμ/Taxi Driver
Characters: Kim Dogi, Kang Hana, mentions of Baek Sungmi
Summary: If possible, he didn't want her to see this ugly side of himself. If it was possible for him to decide what is it that she could see of him, he wanted her to see only the best part of him.
------------------------------------------
"No matter what you say, you're no different than the criminals you despise."
"You also commit crimes, just like them."
He had been dreading these moments... when he finally has to come clean for her. Because it was inevitable for the truth to come out into the open one way or another.
Rather than let her find this out from other people, either from Baek Sungmi or those other criminals that he had kidnapped; he preferred to tell her the truth himself. Even if it means confronting her disapproval of his past deeds head-on. He didn't want to act like a coward in front of her.
"I guess the motive was to harvest their organs."
"Usually when criminals disappear, most would assume that they just fled rather than being kidnapped. But this is too much."
Dogi gave her a sideglance. Now that Hana started to see little bits of the things that he had done, he couldn't quite erase this uneasy feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. As if, seeing Hana talk with Choi Jongsook earlier at the nursing home wasn't bad enough to see.
Hana looked like a beautiful angel at that time. Even when he had been observing them from afar, he couldn't help feeling moved at the sight of Hana appearing so kindly in front of the former insurance agent who used to take advantage of disabled workers who trusted her to take good care of them. Compared to him, Hana felt like a much better person than he could ever be.
He thought that his way of teaching those criminals the way he did was the right thing. But looking at how Choi Jongsook had gone as far as losing her mind after being kept in that harsh captivity, perhaps he did go a bit too far. How could he claim to say that he only wished to reform the criminals that he caught, when doing so had driven them to go crazy instead? How could he call his own actions to be a noble one?
"One person called it a prison, one said that it's a hotel."
"Have I been misunderstanding things again?"
He turned to look at her again.
"What do you mean?"
"I thought that you accepted these requests to teach those criminals a lesson, and the one doing the actual kidnapping was Baek Sungmi. If that was the case... then I'll apologize."
He smiled at her weakly. Hana still thought about him very highly... yet the things that he had done, barely half of them were any close to being very noble. Like how Hana used to tell him before, no matter how beautiful he framed it... he was no better than the criminals that he chased after to punish. Like those criminals, he also committed various crimes.
"There's something that I need you to see."
xxx
He took the car towards the next turning and stopped just barely in front of Baek Sungmi's place. He got out of his car before waiting for Hana to follow suit. Hana frowned as she recognized the place they're arriving at.
"Isn't this Baek Sungmi's office? Why are we here?"
"Follow me."
Dogi led Hana into the secret prison, as they were immediately greeted by a waft of awfully smelling faeces. He barely remembered what he used to be told previously about the secret prison. That the office did use to have functioning toilets in the building before Baek Sungmi moved the facility to the warehouse at the other side of the building and renovated this space into the secret prison they were in right now. And this secret prison was where the septic tanks and the plumbing system for the toilets used to be. So even when the tanks and plumbing had been moved elsewhere, traces of the faeces and sewer smell never quite left the place. Not to mention that Baek Sungmi wouldn't have allowed the prisoners to relieve themselves properly during their captivity. What other reasons could there be to let the prisoners eat and drink so little there?
This was never really a big problem to them before, since they used to think that criminals don't really deserve to get better treatment when they're supposed to be repenting for their crimes in prison. In which they felt that the state prisons were too good for those criminals to be locked in. But being in this place again now with Hana, he started having a second thought.
Looking at the disapproving looks Hana made as she inspected every nook and cranny of this very horrid-looking, cramped prison, Dogi feared to imagine what kinds of thoughts she had of this place. And of the things, he himself had done.
"What is this place?"
"This is where we kept all of the criminals we kidnapped. I brought them all here and Madam Baek managed them."
"So you're saying that you were her accomplice?"
"Yes."
"I know that they're criminals, but this was too extreme. They're still people—!"
He started walking slowly towards her. "But what they did was inhumane, so we treated them the same way. We told them that what we've done to them were no different to the things they've done to others." Dogi continued walking towards her as Hana stepped back from him in horrid realisation at the things he'd done to the criminals he caught.
Dogi stopped his approach as he glanced away from her. "I'm sure every moment here was suffering to them. I hope they'd be frightened enough to look back at what they've done. I wanted to keep them that way, even if it meant through fear. Though ultimately, I failed."
Hana let out a strangled gasp as he remained silent. Dogi braved himself to try to approach her again.
"Ms Kang..."
Hana didn't even want to look back at him. She didn't even want to say anything to him before walking away. He turned around as his heart continued to feel pain watching her walk away from the place.
Dogi hurriedly chased after her as Hana stepped out of the door and marching towards the nearby warehouse. He hurriedly ran after her to catch up to her. He sighed, as he stood still in front of her.
"As promised, I'll accept all of the punishments. But please, let me take all of the blame." Hana turned her face back towards him, looking not too amused at him. "My colleagues did nothing wrong aside from helping me. I beg you."
Hana shook her head.
"Who said that you can do that?"
"Ms Kang..."
"At first, I thought that you're a criminal who was obsessed about being a hero. Personal revenge? That's ridiculous. But I thought, we might need someone like you... and that maybe I should help you."
She gasped in disbelief.
"That's what I thought."
Hana let out a heavy sigh before shaking her head again.
"This isn't the Kim Dogi that I know. To be frank, I don't know who you are anymore. I don't even know what's your true nature now."
Hana's words pierced right through into his heart. He felt awful at the thought of how disappointed she must be feeling towards him to have to say those words aloud.
"I'm sorry," he said slowly. He wished he could say something more than this to show her how sorry he felt to have to show her something awful like this.
"I'll conduct a thorough investigation. Please wait until I'm done. I'll be in touch."
Hana turned away from him and continued to walk away without waiting for him to send her back to her office. His heart clenched to see her fleeing away from him. Honestly, he really wished that he wouldn't have to tell her anything about this. If possible, he didn't want her to see this ugly side of himself.
If it was possible for him to decide what is it that she could see of him, he wanted her to see only the best part of him. He really wished that he could only show her things about himself that he could be proud of showing.
xxx
"Then why don't you arrest me?"
"Were you just talking big without any proof? When will you find your evidence?"
"Would you wait until I've destroyed all of the evidence?"
Strange how things ended up arriving up to this point. Years ago, when he decided to accept Mr Jang's offer to drive the deluxe taxi and work for him, he never thought about the possibility of turning himself in for the many things he had done since... in order to fulfil the request of the various victims who had enlisted the help from Rainbow Taxi.
Yet now, feeling so much at peace with himself... he never imagined himself to feel so happy at the thought of being arrested for the crimes he committed. It's funny to think that he was actually looking forward to being arrested by Kang Hana.
Is there something wrong with him? πππ
He heard the sound of someone approaching and turned around. And as expected, he could see Hana walking up to him from the other side.
"My job is done now. What about you?" He smiled to himself before turning his attention towards her. "Have you investigated everything thoroughly?"
"Yes."
He grinned. "Have you brought your warrant? Or would it be an emergency arrest this time?"
Dogi immediately recalled the many times he had dared her to arrest him or the times she had come over to raid without having any warrant. It strangely amused him thinking that Hana could consider his arrest to be pressing enough for her to not wait until a warrant could be issued.
Hana turned around to face him.
"Mr Kim Dogi, you..."
He turned to face her as well, as he brought forward his arms towards her for her to arrest him. To which, it alarmed him that Hana's next words ended up the opposite of what he expected to hear.
"I don't think that I can arrest you." Hana let out a shrug. "I don't have enough evidence."
Dogi frowned at her. How could... there be no evidence at all on him? Even if there was no trace that he left during those many times he ran his missions to punish the targeted criminals that he was sent to get, there should still be some traces left at that secret prison. He knew that Baek Sungmi had placed many surveillance cameras to monitor the prisoners there, and he had gone down there a few times himself. So aside from Mr Jang, his presence should've also be recorded there. Why didn't she found any traces of that?
Dogi lowered his arms slowly.
"Baek Sungmi won't mention the secret jail anymore."
An alarming thought crossed his mind that maybe Hana had done something on her own in order to save him. Knowing this, Madam Baek most likely wouldn't let Hana go without a scratch!
"But doing this would put you in danger."
Hana smiled at him.
"Are you worried about me?" She shrugged. "I can protect myself."
"But I did do it. I'm an outlaw."
"Did I say that you're not?" She took a long breath. "There were extenuating circumstances. Even if you have to let go of 100 criminals, never imprison a single innocent person. You protected all of the victims who were hurt by those 100 criminals."
"Even if it meant breaking the law."
Dogi felt like crying to hear that from her.
"If you don't arrest me, you'll be breaching your duty."
"I'll deal with this myself. Mr Kim Dogi, you're worth it."
Was he? As much as he was aware of the many good things he had done for the many victims of violent crimes, he knew that there were things that he'd done that weren't so good. He didn't forget about the people that he had hurt, particularly the ones sent to harm Hana and her investigator before. Heck, as much he did saved Hana back then... they did suffer some injuries because of what he did.
"I know that the law isn't perfect. Thank you for protecting the people we missed, because of those loopholes."
Hana slowly lowered her head to him. Still, it made him feel awful that Hana had to go through so much because of him.
"Ms Kang..."
Hana did nothing wrong besides doing her job as best as she could. He hated the thought that because of him, her career as a prosecutor could be damaged. Hana started to speak again.
"I'm sure that we won't meet like this again. But if and when we do... let's not fight again."
He couldn't imagine not having to meet Hana anymore after this; she had become so much a part of his life that he couldn't imagine one without her, but the thought of not having to fight with her again made him feel so happy.
Because yes, they should never fight again.
Series:λͺ¨λ²νμ/Taxi Driver
Characters: Kim Dogi, Kang Hana, mentions of Baek Sungmi
Summary: If possible, he didn't want her to see this ugly side of himself. If it was possible for him to decide what is it that she could see of him, he wanted her to see only the best part of him.
------------------------------------------
"No matter what you say, you're no different than the criminals you despise."
"You also commit crimes, just like them."
He had been dreading these moments... when he finally has to come clean for her. Because it was inevitable for the truth to come out into the open one way or another.
Rather than let her find this out from other people, either from Baek Sungmi or those other criminals that he had kidnapped; he preferred to tell her the truth himself. Even if it means confronting her disapproval of his past deeds head-on. He didn't want to act like a coward in front of her.
"I guess the motive was to harvest their organs."
"Usually when criminals disappear, most would assume that they just fled rather than being kidnapped. But this is too much."
Dogi gave her a sideglance. Now that Hana started to see little bits of the things that he had done, he couldn't quite erase this uneasy feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. As if, seeing Hana talk with Choi Jongsook earlier at the nursing home wasn't bad enough to see.
Hana looked like a beautiful angel at that time. Even when he had been observing them from afar, he couldn't help feeling moved at the sight of Hana appearing so kindly in front of the former insurance agent who used to take advantage of disabled workers who trusted her to take good care of them. Compared to him, Hana felt like a much better person than he could ever be.
He thought that his way of teaching those criminals the way he did was the right thing. But looking at how Choi Jongsook had gone as far as losing her mind after being kept in that harsh captivity, perhaps he did go a bit too far. How could he claim to say that he only wished to reform the criminals that he caught, when doing so had driven them to go crazy instead? How could he call his own actions to be a noble one?
"One person called it a prison, one said that it's a hotel."
"Have I been misunderstanding things again?"
He turned to look at her again.
"What do you mean?"
"I thought that you accepted these requests to teach those criminals a lesson, and the one doing the actual kidnapping was Baek Sungmi. If that was the case... then I'll apologize."
He smiled at her weakly. Hana still thought about him very highly... yet the things that he had done, barely half of them were any close to being very noble. Like how Hana used to tell him before, no matter how beautiful he framed it... he was no better than the criminals that he chased after to punish. Like those criminals, he also committed various crimes.
"There's something that I need you to see."
xxx
He took the car towards the next turning and stopped just barely in front of Baek Sungmi's place. He got out of his car before waiting for Hana to follow suit. Hana frowned as she recognized the place they're arriving at.
"Isn't this Baek Sungmi's office? Why are we here?"
"Follow me."
He led her towards the toilet entrance at the back of Baek Sungmi's office. He opened the door of the men's toilet stall, and rather than the sight of a toilet seat that should be expected when one was to enter stalls like these... there was yet another door hidden behind it.
Dogi led Hana into the secret prison, as they were immediately greeted by a waft of awfully smelling faeces. He barely remembered what he used to be told previously about the secret prison. That the office did use to have functioning toilets in the building before Baek Sungmi moved the facility to the warehouse at the other side of the building and renovated this space into the secret prison they were in right now. And this secret prison was where the septic tanks and the plumbing system for the toilets used to be. So even when the tanks and plumbing had been moved elsewhere, traces of the faeces and sewer smell never quite left the place. Not to mention that Baek Sungmi wouldn't have allowed the prisoners to relieve themselves properly during their captivity. What other reasons could there be to let the prisoners eat and drink so little there?
This was never really a big problem to them before, since they used to think that criminals don't really deserve to get better treatment when they're supposed to be repenting for their crimes in prison. In which they felt that the state prisons were too good for those criminals to be locked in. But being in this place again now with Hana, he started having a second thought.
Looking at the disapproving looks Hana made as she inspected every nook and cranny of this very horrid-looking, cramped prison, Dogi feared to imagine what kinds of thoughts she had of this place. And of the things, he himself had done.
"What is this place?"
"This is where we kept all of the criminals we kidnapped. I brought them all here and Madam Baek managed them."
"So you're saying that you were her accomplice?"
"Yes."
"I know that they're criminals, but this was too extreme. They're still people—!"
He started walking slowly towards her. "But what they did was inhumane, so we treated them the same way. We told them that what we've done to them were no different to the things they've done to others." Dogi continued walking towards her as Hana stepped back from him in horrid realisation at the things he'd done to the criminals he caught.
Dogi stopped his approach as he glanced away from her. "I'm sure every moment here was suffering to them. I hope they'd be frightened enough to look back at what they've done. I wanted to keep them that way, even if it meant through fear. Though ultimately, I failed."
Hana let out a strangled gasp as he remained silent. Dogi braved himself to try to approach her again.
"Ms Kang..."
Hana didn't even want to look back at him. She didn't even want to say anything to him before walking away. He turned around as his heart continued to feel pain watching her walk away from the place.
Dogi hurriedly chased after her as Hana stepped out of the door and marching towards the nearby warehouse. He hurriedly ran after her to catch up to her. He sighed, as he stood still in front of her.
"As promised, I'll accept all of the punishments. But please, let me take all of the blame." Hana turned her face back towards him, looking not too amused at him. "My colleagues did nothing wrong aside from helping me. I beg you."
Hana shook her head.
"Who said that you can do that?"
"Ms Kang..."
"At first, I thought that you're a criminal who was obsessed about being a hero. Personal revenge? That's ridiculous. But I thought, we might need someone like you... and that maybe I should help you."
She gasped in disbelief.
"That's what I thought."
Hana let out a heavy sigh before shaking her head again.
"This isn't the Kim Dogi that I know. To be frank, I don't know who you are anymore. I don't even know what's your true nature now."
Hana's words pierced right through into his heart. He felt awful at the thought of how disappointed she must be feeling towards him to have to say those words aloud.
"I'm sorry," he said slowly. He wished he could say something more than this to show her how sorry he felt to have to show her something awful like this.
"I'll conduct a thorough investigation. Please wait until I'm done. I'll be in touch."
Hana turned away from him and continued to walk away without waiting for him to send her back to her office. His heart clenched to see her fleeing away from him. Honestly, he really wished that he wouldn't have to tell her anything about this. If possible, he didn't want her to see this ugly side of himself.
If it was possible for him to decide what is it that she could see of him, he wanted her to see only the best part of him. He really wished that he could only show her things about himself that he could be proud of showing.
xxx
"Then why don't you arrest me?"
"Were you just talking big without any proof? When will you find your evidence?"
"Would you wait until I've destroyed all of the evidence?"
Strange how things ended up arriving up to this point. Years ago, when he decided to accept Mr Jang's offer to drive the deluxe taxi and work for him, he never thought about the possibility of turning himself in for the many things he had done since... in order to fulfil the request of the various victims who had enlisted the help from Rainbow Taxi.
Yet now, feeling so much at peace with himself... he never imagined himself to feel so happy at the thought of being arrested for the crimes he committed. It's funny to think that he was actually looking forward to being arrested by Kang Hana.
Is there something wrong with him? πππ
He heard the sound of someone approaching and turned around. And as expected, he could see Hana walking up to him from the other side.
"My job is done now. What about you?" He smiled to himself before turning his attention towards her. "Have you investigated everything thoroughly?"
"Yes."
He grinned. "Have you brought your warrant? Or would it be an emergency arrest this time?"
Dogi immediately recalled the many times he had dared her to arrest him or the times she had come over to raid without having any warrant. It strangely amused him thinking that Hana could consider his arrest to be pressing enough for her to not wait until a warrant could be issued.
Hana turned around to face him.
"Mr Kim Dogi, you..."
He turned to face her as well, as he brought forward his arms towards her for her to arrest him. To which, it alarmed him that Hana's next words ended up the opposite of what he expected to hear.
"I don't think that I can arrest you." Hana let out a shrug. "I don't have enough evidence."
Dogi frowned at her. How could... there be no evidence at all on him? Even if there was no trace that he left during those many times he ran his missions to punish the targeted criminals that he was sent to get, there should still be some traces left at that secret prison. He knew that Baek Sungmi had placed many surveillance cameras to monitor the prisoners there, and he had gone down there a few times himself. So aside from Mr Jang, his presence should've also be recorded there. Why didn't she found any traces of that?
Dogi lowered his arms slowly.
"Baek Sungmi won't mention the secret jail anymore."
An alarming thought crossed his mind that maybe Hana had done something on her own in order to save him. Knowing this, Madam Baek most likely wouldn't let Hana go without a scratch!
"But doing this would put you in danger."
Hana smiled at him.
"Are you worried about me?" She shrugged. "I can protect myself."
"But I did do it. I'm an outlaw."
"Did I say that you're not?" She took a long breath. "There were extenuating circumstances. Even if you have to let go of 100 criminals, never imprison a single innocent person. You protected all of the victims who were hurt by those 100 criminals."
"Even if it meant breaking the law."
Dogi felt like crying to hear that from her.
"If you don't arrest me, you'll be breaching your duty."
"I'll deal with this myself. Mr Kim Dogi, you're worth it."
Was he? As much as he was aware of the many good things he had done for the many victims of violent crimes, he knew that there were things that he'd done that weren't so good. He didn't forget about the people that he had hurt, particularly the ones sent to harm Hana and her investigator before. Heck, as much he did saved Hana back then... they did suffer some injuries because of what he did.
"I know that the law isn't perfect. Thank you for protecting the people we missed, because of those loopholes."
Hana slowly lowered her head to him. Still, it made him feel awful that Hana had to go through so much because of him.
"Ms Kang..."
Hana did nothing wrong besides doing her job as best as she could. He hated the thought that because of him, her career as a prosecutor could be damaged. Hana started to speak again.
"I'm sure that we won't meet like this again. But if and when we do... let's not fight again."
He couldn't imagine not having to meet Hana anymore after this; she had become so much a part of his life that he couldn't imagine one without her, but the thought of not having to fight with her again made him feel so happy.
Because yes, they should never fight again.
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