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honou_no_izumi) wrote2020-06-21 01:36 am
honou_no_izumi) wrote2020-06-21 01:36 am
Entry tags:
Choice [2/2]
Title: Choice
Series: Born Again/본 어게인
Characters: Kim Soohyuk, Jeong Sabin
Summary: As time goes by, Soohyuk ponders whether or not to make the ultimate choice.
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He ended up turning around and waited until it was a bit more later in the day before approaching the shop again. In that meantime, he'd watch Jay and Sabin's two uncles returning to the bookshop and leaving again for their own work. And then he saw some passing onlookers that went into the shop out of curiosity. And then he'd watch the blossoms from the tree in front of the shop flutter away as the winds blew past.
Throughout those times, he watched how Sabin greeted her friends and family as well as customers as she managed her new bookshop. From afar, Sabin had seemed to have gone back to normal; being healthy and cheerful and not at all sickly or unhappy. But then, as the day grew late and Sabin was alone inside her shop he saw it again. How she would have those faraway looks and occasionally talking to no one in particular. While that alone was not the only sign to indicate if there was something wrong with Sabin in general, he couldn't help noticing the subtle difference in her behaviour while she was in the presence of people and when she was alone.
He couldn't help but notice how Sabin's cheerfulness appeared forced at times when she's with other people yet when she's alone she seemed oddly energetic for some reason.
Soohyuk took a long breath before steeling himself to step into the bookstore again.
xxx
"Hey..."
Almost immediately, Sabin's mannerism changed in front of him. As usual, Sabin did her best to act as if she hadn't been acting odd but he could see that she was flustered. Who wouldn't be if someone had just caught you in the middle of a daydream with an imaginary lover?
Soohyuk took in a long breath, even as his heart starting to hurt again. He needed to approach this very carefully...
"So I heard you're reopening this shop again."
Sabin smiled. "Yeah, it's about time for the shop to get back to business. I told Mr Seo to remind you about it if he sees you."
He snorted slightly. So that explained Seo Taeha's odd behaviour when he suddenly mentioned about the bookshop and giving him those suspicious looks. Seo Taeha must've thought there'd be some kind of development happening between him and Sabin now.
How presumptuous. What's with that guy and his tendencies to be overly friendly once they've taken a liking to you?
After everything that has happened between him and Sabin—not to mention everything that happened in their past lives—how could anything be back to the way it used to be? After all of the heartaches and suffering...
"Soohyuk-ssi?"
He turned back his attention towards Sabin before giving her a weak smile. "It's nothing." Soohyuk gave her a concerned look. "How have you been feeling these days?"
Sabin blinked at him in confusion. "I've been fine. Why did you ask?"
Soohyuk just shook his head. "It's nothing..." he started to say, as he recalled the scene he'd witnessed earlier, "...it's just that considering you've become much healthier now compared to before, I thought it's about time for both of us to stop seeing each other."
He thought that this time it'd be easier for him to do this—well, this shouldn't be as hard as the time he had to tell Haeeun about Hyungbin's secret—but he thought wrong. The devastation written on Sabin's face almost made him want to retract his words. But then he thought about how he wanted to allow himself to become happy again and that can't happen as long as he didn't let go of the past. He'd told himself the year before that he'd put Cha Hyungbin to rest once and for all and restart his life anew as Kim Soohyuk. He couldn't do that if he remained by Sabin's side. He'd be reminded of the past life that was full of heartache and he didn't think he could continue living on with those memories still remaining at the back of his mind.
Soohyuk averted his eyes from her.
"We already have nothing to do with each other, so there's no point anymore for us to continue to keep in touch."
He waited for a moment to let the words sink in before turning around towards the exit. Just as he was about to step away, Sabin's hand suddenly caught his wrist with a firm grip. Soohyuk's heart suddenly felt as if it could burst any second.
"No, don't. Please don't leave."
He almost ended up turning around to face her for a second, but then he knew if he saw her sad look again he'd never be able to leave. Instead, he glanced down towards the hand that gripped his wrist and wordlessly peeled the fingers away to free himself. He had almost fled out of the shop when Sabin's voice stopped him again.
"Is it because I chose Jongbeom instead of you?"
Soohyuk's heart immediately started to hurt so much as if someone had squeezed it tightly. Did she have to ask him that? And for a brief second, he wondered if the one who was hurting was himself... or was it Cha Hyungbin? Granted that he shouldn't have any rights to feel hurt at the fact that Haeeun had decided to choose Gong Jicheol over Cha Hyungbin to whom she had once promised to spend the rest of her life with; nevertheless, he still felt betrayed. And the fact that his current feelings had more or less influenced by Cha Hyungbin's love towards Jeong Haeeun, being aware of that kind of betrayal certainly made him question himself if the love he sought was even worth it to continue on holding on to.
"Does that even matter now?" he said instead. He almost wanted to add that it's not even worth it to hold on to a grudge when the other person was already dead, but he decided not to add salt to the wound. He turned his head slightly towards her.
"I guess I also needed to take a moment to reflect on myself. Did I fall in love with Jeong Sabin because of herself... or was it because of Cha Hyungbin's feelings and memories of Jeong Haeeun? And what should I do now... when that relationship has fallen through?"
He immediately took his leave without another word, he almost tripped himself as he sped across the streets and onto the pavement. Sookyuk grabbed a hold on a railing as he tried to gather his bearing again.
Soohyuk placed a hand over his chest as he clutched it tightly. Eventually, this pain in his heart will stop hurting, he told himself.
Eventually, he'll be able to tell himself that he'd put the past behind him.
Series: Born Again/본 어게인
Characters: Kim Soohyuk, Jeong Sabin
Summary: As time goes by, Soohyuk ponders whether or not to make the ultimate choice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He ended up turning around and waited until it was a bit more later in the day before approaching the shop again. In that meantime, he'd watch Jay and Sabin's two uncles returning to the bookshop and leaving again for their own work. And then he saw some passing onlookers that went into the shop out of curiosity. And then he'd watch the blossoms from the tree in front of the shop flutter away as the winds blew past.
Throughout those times, he watched how Sabin greeted her friends and family as well as customers as she managed her new bookshop. From afar, Sabin had seemed to have gone back to normal; being healthy and cheerful and not at all sickly or unhappy. But then, as the day grew late and Sabin was alone inside her shop he saw it again. How she would have those faraway looks and occasionally talking to no one in particular. While that alone was not the only sign to indicate if there was something wrong with Sabin in general, he couldn't help noticing the subtle difference in her behaviour while she was in the presence of people and when she was alone.
He couldn't help but notice how Sabin's cheerfulness appeared forced at times when she's with other people yet when she's alone she seemed oddly energetic for some reason.
Soohyuk took a long breath before steeling himself to step into the bookstore again.
xxx
"Hey..."
Almost immediately, Sabin's mannerism changed in front of him. As usual, Sabin did her best to act as if she hadn't been acting odd but he could see that she was flustered. Who wouldn't be if someone had just caught you in the middle of a daydream with an imaginary lover?
Soohyuk took in a long breath, even as his heart starting to hurt again. He needed to approach this very carefully...
"So I heard you're reopening this shop again."
Sabin smiled. "Yeah, it's about time for the shop to get back to business. I told Mr Seo to remind you about it if he sees you."
He snorted slightly. So that explained Seo Taeha's odd behaviour when he suddenly mentioned about the bookshop and giving him those suspicious looks. Seo Taeha must've thought there'd be some kind of development happening between him and Sabin now.
How presumptuous. What's with that guy and his tendencies to be overly friendly once they've taken a liking to you?
After everything that has happened between him and Sabin—not to mention everything that happened in their past lives—how could anything be back to the way it used to be? After all of the heartaches and suffering...
"Soohyuk-ssi?"
He turned back his attention towards Sabin before giving her a weak smile. "It's nothing." Soohyuk gave her a concerned look. "How have you been feeling these days?"
Sabin blinked at him in confusion. "I've been fine. Why did you ask?"
Soohyuk just shook his head. "It's nothing..." he started to say, as he recalled the scene he'd witnessed earlier, "...it's just that considering you've become much healthier now compared to before, I thought it's about time for both of us to stop seeing each other."
He thought that this time it'd be easier for him to do this—well, this shouldn't be as hard as the time he had to tell Haeeun about Hyungbin's secret—but he thought wrong. The devastation written on Sabin's face almost made him want to retract his words. But then he thought about how he wanted to allow himself to become happy again and that can't happen as long as he didn't let go of the past. He'd told himself the year before that he'd put Cha Hyungbin to rest once and for all and restart his life anew as Kim Soohyuk. He couldn't do that if he remained by Sabin's side. He'd be reminded of the past life that was full of heartache and he didn't think he could continue living on with those memories still remaining at the back of his mind.
Soohyuk averted his eyes from her.
"We already have nothing to do with each other, so there's no point anymore for us to continue to keep in touch."
He waited for a moment to let the words sink in before turning around towards the exit. Just as he was about to step away, Sabin's hand suddenly caught his wrist with a firm grip. Soohyuk's heart suddenly felt as if it could burst any second.
"No, don't. Please don't leave."
He almost ended up turning around to face her for a second, but then he knew if he saw her sad look again he'd never be able to leave. Instead, he glanced down towards the hand that gripped his wrist and wordlessly peeled the fingers away to free himself. He had almost fled out of the shop when Sabin's voice stopped him again.
"Is it because I chose Jongbeom instead of you?"
Soohyuk's heart immediately started to hurt so much as if someone had squeezed it tightly. Did she have to ask him that? And for a brief second, he wondered if the one who was hurting was himself... or was it Cha Hyungbin? Granted that he shouldn't have any rights to feel hurt at the fact that Haeeun had decided to choose Gong Jicheol over Cha Hyungbin to whom she had once promised to spend the rest of her life with; nevertheless, he still felt betrayed. And the fact that his current feelings had more or less influenced by Cha Hyungbin's love towards Jeong Haeeun, being aware of that kind of betrayal certainly made him question himself if the love he sought was even worth it to continue on holding on to.
"Does that even matter now?" he said instead. He almost wanted to add that it's not even worth it to hold on to a grudge when the other person was already dead, but he decided not to add salt to the wound. He turned his head slightly towards her.
"I guess I also needed to take a moment to reflect on myself. Did I fall in love with Jeong Sabin because of herself... or was it because of Cha Hyungbin's feelings and memories of Jeong Haeeun? And what should I do now... when that relationship has fallen through?"
He immediately took his leave without another word, he almost tripped himself as he sped across the streets and onto the pavement. Sookyuk grabbed a hold on a railing as he tried to gather his bearing again.
Soohyuk placed a hand over his chest as he clutched it tightly. Eventually, this pain in his heart will stop hurting, he told himself.
Eventually, he'll be able to tell himself that he'd put the past behind him.