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Title: Conflicting thoughts : Side Story (Takeru's side)
Character: Shiba Takeru & Ikenami Ryunosuke
Fandom: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger
Rating: G
Summary: Takeru doesn't want the others to probe into the troubling thoughts that he had bore in his heart. Yet, Ryunosuke had always been able to tell when he was troubled.
A/N: Sometimes I wonder if it wasn't ME who write these stuffs... But my characters instead. XD
------------------
Should he... apologize to Mako for what happened earlier at the island? It was accidental... after all. And it was partially his fault for her injuries. He had left his guard at that crucial moment just because he had let that small remark from Juzo to bother him. He had forgotten about their promise to each other, his promise with his retainers; that he would place his life in their care as theirs to him. And Mako had hurt herself to protect him...
Apologizing should be an easy thing to do... right?
But talking to Mako about this now... would definitely give her the opening to talk to him about that incident. He didn't think he was ready for that right now.
Suddenly Takeru felt a sense of uneasiness in the air as he looked up towards the others. It must have been his imagination. Everyone seemed to act normal, Chiaki was poking at Genta again about the things Akumaro had done to the two of them as both were eating. Genta had decided to stay over for the night, he said it was nothing but perhaps what Akumaro did bothered him a bit so he wanted to stay at the mansion. Not that he minded it, the mansion had many spare rooms...
Kotoha was acting normally as well and Mako, seemed quiet. Then again considering this afternoon...
And that brought his attention towards Ryunosuke. And true enough, Ryunosuke had stopped eating as he gave him a puzzled look. Takeru struggled to not let his surprised reaction became too obvious. As expected of Ryunosuke.
Takeru glanced around to find Jii to see the old man was not around. He must be with the kuroko-tachi right now, thought Takeru dejectedly as he glanced back towards Ryunosuke. He still kept his attention at him, Takeru started to feel really nervous. Just when he needed Jii to stay by his side...
Ryunosuke raised an eyebrow at him as Takeru tried to feign innocence. Takeru resumed back to finishing the last bit of his dinner, as Ryunosuke appeared to let his guard down on him. That must be it. Ryunosuke must have thought something was wrong with him when he had stopped eating. Ryunosuke hadn't read his mind or anything... he shouldn't be able to tell if something had bothered him. But something really DID bother him!
Takeru glanced towards Ryunosuke again as true enough, Ryunosuke chose that time to turn his attention back to him again. Perhaps Ryunosuke really CAN read his mind, thought Takeru as Ryunosuke gave him a concerned look. Takeru gave a small smile towards him as he resumed eating again.
Somehow, Ryunosuke's concern for him made him feel much better. It felt nice to know that someone truly cared about you...
But then, Takeru's mind went back towards Fuwa Juzo and that warm feeling he felt swelling in his heart grew cold. Had he really become weak? He should not! He can't! He could not afford to become weak now... just as he enemy starts to grow even stronger. He can't...
Suddenly the nightmarish image from his past flashed back into his mind. Of the big fire. Of his father... and every single person who had died with him that night. At that thought, suddenly an image of a dead Ryunosuke in that burning fire popped up in his mind as his blood ran cold.
CLANK! The sound of his own chopsticks against bowl made himself jump as well as draw the attention of the others towards him. Takeru stuttered as he tried to make up something to dispel the concerns.
"I... ahh, I think I almost fell asleep while eating... uhh, sorry." Lame excuse, but hopefully the others take the bait.
"Ahh... Take-chan! You should have said something! If you did—”
"Perhaps... you would like to take your leave? I'll tell Hikoma-san if he come asking later."
Takeru couldn't help but smile at that. Ryunosuke always knew what to say at the right time... despite what he himself might think. Takeru excused himself from the hall as he left towards his room.
Just that... he did not head to his room right away. He did felt sleepy earlier but not much that he would right away jump to bed for it. That image he had earlier was still haunting him. Even if it wasn't real, that image still... his heart felt as if a sharp blade had pierced through it. The same thing as how he had felt when he saw his father dead. It was painful; he didn't want the same thing to happen to Ryunosuke. Or Jii. Or Genta. Or everyone else that he had grown to care about. It would be like reliving another nightmare, one that he rather not experience again...
He wondered how long he had been wandering the corridors as he saw Ryunosuke's silhouette across the corridors where the training area had been. How peculiar. Ryunosuke only ever do this every few nights.
Takeru’s thoughts went back to the times when Ryunosuke had gotten himself hurt ever since he had arrived to this place. Specifically to that one time Ryunosuke had been injured really badly when he had tried to protect him from being killed by Ushiroboshi. It had alarmed him then, to see Ryunosuke’s (and Kotoha’s) body being torn apart. All for the sake of protecting him…
He wondered if he was still worth that kind of loyalty from his retainers. Yes, as much as he hated to admit it, Ryunosuke and the others were still his retainers. If he had indeed grown weaker... like Juzo seemed to insist he was. Is he still...
"Tono?"
Takeru blinked as Ryunosuke's puzzled face mirrored back towards him.
“I thought you were heading to your room to sleep an hour ago...”
Takeru blinked. It’s been an hour already? He sat at the edge of the balcony as Ryunosuke cocked his head at him.
“I... could not sleep. I thought I was sleepy... and then when I didn’t, I thought taking a walk would help.” Takeru lied as Ryunosuke sat beside him to pat his head. He leaned on Ryunosuke’s shoulders for comfort. At least Ryunosuke didn’t seem to detect the lie... yet.
“Ryunosuke... do you think that you’re strong?”
Ryunosuke gave him a strange look before shrugging.
“I’d like to think so. Even then... when you are strong, you have to accept that there would be someone stronger than you. Either that be a friend... or a foe. But Tono, even if you’re not as strong as your opponent... it doesn’t make you any weaker. You just have to try to become even stronger than before. Why did you ask that, Tono?”
Takeru shook his head. Ryunosuke probably gonna start lecturing him again if he told him about his earlier thoughts.
“It’s nothing. Forget I ask that...” Takeru said before his head started to droop. Ryunosuke chuckled.
“You’re already half asleep there, Tono. You should go to bed. Your injuries aren’t going to heal faster if you don’t eat or rest well...”
So that’s why Ryunosuke had been paying attention to him that close today. He should have known. There was no way Ryunosuke would suddenly be able to read his mind and know something was troubling his mind...
“We had lived with each other for quite some time... Tono. This might be presumptuous of me but I could say half the time that I do and can read what you’ve been thinking.”
Takeru leered towards Ryunosuke. No... that’s impossible. It was just coincidental that Ryunosuke had been saying things that he happened to be thinking about. That was silly...
Ryunosuke sighed.
“What is true strength after all? Is it measured by the strength of your body? Your heart? Or a totally different kind of strength? When could you say that you’re strong? When do you say that you’re stronger... or weaker? Is it that bad... if you’re not as strong as you hoped for? Because if you are... you can always try to make yourself stro—“ Ryunosuke paused as he watched Takeru dozed beside him. He smiled.
“And I was telling you that you should be heading back to your bed. Perhaps I was worrying about you for nothing.”
Ryunosuke gently lifted Takeru’s arm before slinging it over his shoulder to allow himself to carry him on his back. He smiled as he headed towards Takeru’s room...
xxx
Not sure when did he regain awareness, but he realized that he was... being carried away. Such a memorable feeling. It had been such a long time since Jii used to carry him like this. The way his father used to carry him, whenever he had fallen asleep at the porch... or when they had taken a walk outside before he had grown tired of walking and his father carried him on his back on the way home. Such fond memory...
But he could tell it was Ryunosuke. He smelled differently than how Jii or his father had smelled like. Ignoring the fact that it was silly to think about how one would smell like, it was such a good feeling.
He rather not lose this feeling to anyone ever again. For that, he needed to be strong. Stronger than he could possibly become!
xxx
“STOP RIGHT THERE!”
Takeru took a step back, before realizing that his heart had been beating very fast. He stared down towards Chiaki’s alarmed face. What have he done? If Ryunosuke had not stopped him, he would have... could have...!
Ryunosuke...
Ryunosuke’s commanding voice earlier came back to his mind. He must have noticed. What would he think of him now... after what had just happened just now? A sudden feeling of alarm surged into his heart.
“That’s all for today’s practice...” Takeru said as he left to enter the mansion. He kept his eyes away from the rest of them as it took all of his strength to walk away. He couldn’t look at the face of his retainers right now, especially Ryunosuke’s. He would definitely break apart if he faced Ryunosuke right now.
Ryunosuke must have been very disappointed in him. He wouldn’t blame him either if Ryunosuke was mad at him as well. He was mad at himself too.
As he was right now, could he be the kind of lord that would be worthy of retainers such as Ryunosuke, Kotoha, Chiaki and Mako? Could he be the kind of lord that Jii and his father would be proud of?
He had to be strong. Stronger than this. Even more than before! He had to... he cannot be weak. He cannot afford to be weak now.
Everyone... please forgive me. For now...
Character: Shiba Takeru & Ikenami Ryunosuke
Fandom: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger
Rating: G
Summary: Takeru doesn't want the others to probe into the troubling thoughts that he had bore in his heart. Yet, Ryunosuke had always been able to tell when he was troubled.
A/N: Sometimes I wonder if it wasn't ME who write these stuffs... But my characters instead. XD
------------------
Should he... apologize to Mako for what happened earlier at the island? It was accidental... after all. And it was partially his fault for her injuries. He had left his guard at that crucial moment just because he had let that small remark from Juzo to bother him. He had forgotten about their promise to each other, his promise with his retainers; that he would place his life in their care as theirs to him. And Mako had hurt herself to protect him...
Apologizing should be an easy thing to do... right?
But talking to Mako about this now... would definitely give her the opening to talk to him about that incident. He didn't think he was ready for that right now.
Suddenly Takeru felt a sense of uneasiness in the air as he looked up towards the others. It must have been his imagination. Everyone seemed to act normal, Chiaki was poking at Genta again about the things Akumaro had done to the two of them as both were eating. Genta had decided to stay over for the night, he said it was nothing but perhaps what Akumaro did bothered him a bit so he wanted to stay at the mansion. Not that he minded it, the mansion had many spare rooms...
Kotoha was acting normally as well and Mako, seemed quiet. Then again considering this afternoon...
And that brought his attention towards Ryunosuke. And true enough, Ryunosuke had stopped eating as he gave him a puzzled look. Takeru struggled to not let his surprised reaction became too obvious. As expected of Ryunosuke.
Takeru glanced around to find Jii to see the old man was not around. He must be with the kuroko-tachi right now, thought Takeru dejectedly as he glanced back towards Ryunosuke. He still kept his attention at him, Takeru started to feel really nervous. Just when he needed Jii to stay by his side...
Ryunosuke raised an eyebrow at him as Takeru tried to feign innocence. Takeru resumed back to finishing the last bit of his dinner, as Ryunosuke appeared to let his guard down on him. That must be it. Ryunosuke must have thought something was wrong with him when he had stopped eating. Ryunosuke hadn't read his mind or anything... he shouldn't be able to tell if something had bothered him. But something really DID bother him!
Takeru glanced towards Ryunosuke again as true enough, Ryunosuke chose that time to turn his attention back to him again. Perhaps Ryunosuke really CAN read his mind, thought Takeru as Ryunosuke gave him a concerned look. Takeru gave a small smile towards him as he resumed eating again.
Somehow, Ryunosuke's concern for him made him feel much better. It felt nice to know that someone truly cared about you...
But then, Takeru's mind went back towards Fuwa Juzo and that warm feeling he felt swelling in his heart grew cold. Had he really become weak? He should not! He can't! He could not afford to become weak now... just as he enemy starts to grow even stronger. He can't...
Suddenly the nightmarish image from his past flashed back into his mind. Of the big fire. Of his father... and every single person who had died with him that night. At that thought, suddenly an image of a dead Ryunosuke in that burning fire popped up in his mind as his blood ran cold.
CLANK! The sound of his own chopsticks against bowl made himself jump as well as draw the attention of the others towards him. Takeru stuttered as he tried to make up something to dispel the concerns.
"I... ahh, I think I almost fell asleep while eating... uhh, sorry." Lame excuse, but hopefully the others take the bait.
"Ahh... Take-chan! You should have said something! If you did—”
"Perhaps... you would like to take your leave? I'll tell Hikoma-san if he come asking later."
Takeru couldn't help but smile at that. Ryunosuke always knew what to say at the right time... despite what he himself might think. Takeru excused himself from the hall as he left towards his room.
Just that... he did not head to his room right away. He did felt sleepy earlier but not much that he would right away jump to bed for it. That image he had earlier was still haunting him. Even if it wasn't real, that image still... his heart felt as if a sharp blade had pierced through it. The same thing as how he had felt when he saw his father dead. It was painful; he didn't want the same thing to happen to Ryunosuke. Or Jii. Or Genta. Or everyone else that he had grown to care about. It would be like reliving another nightmare, one that he rather not experience again...
He wondered how long he had been wandering the corridors as he saw Ryunosuke's silhouette across the corridors where the training area had been. How peculiar. Ryunosuke only ever do this every few nights.
Takeru’s thoughts went back to the times when Ryunosuke had gotten himself hurt ever since he had arrived to this place. Specifically to that one time Ryunosuke had been injured really badly when he had tried to protect him from being killed by Ushiroboshi. It had alarmed him then, to see Ryunosuke’s (and Kotoha’s) body being torn apart. All for the sake of protecting him…
He wondered if he was still worth that kind of loyalty from his retainers. Yes, as much as he hated to admit it, Ryunosuke and the others were still his retainers. If he had indeed grown weaker... like Juzo seemed to insist he was. Is he still...
"Tono?"
Takeru blinked as Ryunosuke's puzzled face mirrored back towards him.
“I thought you were heading to your room to sleep an hour ago...”
Takeru blinked. It’s been an hour already? He sat at the edge of the balcony as Ryunosuke cocked his head at him.
“I... could not sleep. I thought I was sleepy... and then when I didn’t, I thought taking a walk would help.” Takeru lied as Ryunosuke sat beside him to pat his head. He leaned on Ryunosuke’s shoulders for comfort. At least Ryunosuke didn’t seem to detect the lie... yet.
“Ryunosuke... do you think that you’re strong?”
Ryunosuke gave him a strange look before shrugging.
“I’d like to think so. Even then... when you are strong, you have to accept that there would be someone stronger than you. Either that be a friend... or a foe. But Tono, even if you’re not as strong as your opponent... it doesn’t make you any weaker. You just have to try to become even stronger than before. Why did you ask that, Tono?”
Takeru shook his head. Ryunosuke probably gonna start lecturing him again if he told him about his earlier thoughts.
“It’s nothing. Forget I ask that...” Takeru said before his head started to droop. Ryunosuke chuckled.
“You’re already half asleep there, Tono. You should go to bed. Your injuries aren’t going to heal faster if you don’t eat or rest well...”
So that’s why Ryunosuke had been paying attention to him that close today. He should have known. There was no way Ryunosuke would suddenly be able to read his mind and know something was troubling his mind...
“We had lived with each other for quite some time... Tono. This might be presumptuous of me but I could say half the time that I do and can read what you’ve been thinking.”
Takeru leered towards Ryunosuke. No... that’s impossible. It was just coincidental that Ryunosuke had been saying things that he happened to be thinking about. That was silly...
Ryunosuke sighed.
“What is true strength after all? Is it measured by the strength of your body? Your heart? Or a totally different kind of strength? When could you say that you’re strong? When do you say that you’re stronger... or weaker? Is it that bad... if you’re not as strong as you hoped for? Because if you are... you can always try to make yourself stro—“ Ryunosuke paused as he watched Takeru dozed beside him. He smiled.
“And I was telling you that you should be heading back to your bed. Perhaps I was worrying about you for nothing.”
Ryunosuke gently lifted Takeru’s arm before slinging it over his shoulder to allow himself to carry him on his back. He smiled as he headed towards Takeru’s room...
xxx
Not sure when did he regain awareness, but he realized that he was... being carried away. Such a memorable feeling. It had been such a long time since Jii used to carry him like this. The way his father used to carry him, whenever he had fallen asleep at the porch... or when they had taken a walk outside before he had grown tired of walking and his father carried him on his back on the way home. Such fond memory...
But he could tell it was Ryunosuke. He smelled differently than how Jii or his father had smelled like. Ignoring the fact that it was silly to think about how one would smell like, it was such a good feeling.
He rather not lose this feeling to anyone ever again. For that, he needed to be strong. Stronger than he could possibly become!
xxx
“STOP RIGHT THERE!”
Takeru took a step back, before realizing that his heart had been beating very fast. He stared down towards Chiaki’s alarmed face. What have he done? If Ryunosuke had not stopped him, he would have... could have...!
Ryunosuke...
Ryunosuke’s commanding voice earlier came back to his mind. He must have noticed. What would he think of him now... after what had just happened just now? A sudden feeling of alarm surged into his heart.
“That’s all for today’s practice...” Takeru said as he left to enter the mansion. He kept his eyes away from the rest of them as it took all of his strength to walk away. He couldn’t look at the face of his retainers right now, especially Ryunosuke’s. He would definitely break apart if he faced Ryunosuke right now.
Ryunosuke must have been very disappointed in him. He wouldn’t blame him either if Ryunosuke was mad at him as well. He was mad at himself too.
As he was right now, could he be the kind of lord that would be worthy of retainers such as Ryunosuke, Kotoha, Chiaki and Mako? Could he be the kind of lord that Jii and his father would be proud of?
He had to be strong. Stronger than this. Even more than before! He had to... he cannot be weak. He cannot afford to be weak now.
Everyone... please forgive me. For now...
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