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Title: What If
Series: 너를 기억해 / Hello Monster
Characters: Lee Junho, mentions of Park Jua, Cha Jian, Lee Hyeon, Lee Min
Summary: How could things have worked out if their lives had been different?
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Lately... he has been thinking a lot. Wonder why?
To be honest, he didn't really mind having people that knows his real identity to think of him as a monster. Even if he disagreed with that view. Yet somehow lately, he felt the need to have certain children to see him as other than a monster. Why was that? Well, in case of Lee Hyeon... that's a given. But other children?
"You should try looking at your own reflection!"
He didn't realize that he even have that kind of desire until some of those children started telling him how much they hated and despised him. Or was it because the children nowadays were much more direct in speaking their minds about him? Because in the past, while people around him treated him as a monster... they never said it on his face. They never confronted him directly on how they viewed him as, since they feared of what he could be.
Then again, was it also due to the fact he had been interacting with people more now as he grew older? Because when you think about it, since he have been living under a false name; people have actually treated him nicer as any other normal people. So to have those things changed after he revealed his true self, he had to admit... that he sort of felt bad about it.
Was it because... he's grown to like being with people?
xxx
But then... what exactly does it mean to be a monster? Because he doesn't think that he was a monster. Yes, he have hurt people... but those are bad people. Was it wrong of him?
He don't hurt people who were nice to him. Jua was nice to him. She was still alive until now. Same as those children, he particularly liked them a lot. But when Hyeon adamantly told him that he refused to even want to give him understanding or how Jian chided on his actions and expressed her contempt of him... he couldn't help feeling bad about it. Because he liked them, but they did not like him back.
But then he wondered, what if... he really tried to kill them for real?
xxx
"Kill me!"
He wasn't lying then. He really had no intention of taking Jian's life then. But he had been close to doing it though. Even when he didn't really mean it. At first perhaps, he thought of not letting Jian get out of his house and hide her somewhere that no one could think of looking for her. But then she started pointing out her gun towards him—perhaps sensing his own intention—and he reacted on instincts against her.
But suppose what would have happened if Kang Eunhyeok did not come to stop him? Would he have ended up killing Jian? She did after all not putting up a fight against his chokehold; she practically challenged him to do to her as he did his other victims. Had he retained his stance even longer, the chokehold would have at least made her lose consciousness. Had he increase the pressure slightly, he could have easily stopped her breathing or broke her neck.
In that situation, would that be a good thing to him? Because the things she said, was indeed true. If he killed her, his team members would have definitely go after him. Hyeon even more. As much as that child cared about his little brother, he was aware how Hyeon care a lot about Jian.
If he killed Jian, Hyeon would've definitely not going to want to have anything to do with him. Even with Min's situation in line, Hyeon probably would still go after him. In that sense, it would still be the same scenario had he truly killed Min that night.
"As I thought... you'd be the last one..."
Oh, that night. It was pretty amazing how even then, he could think clear. Or was it by accident? It did surprise him to find out that Min was alive still. Because usually when he stabbed someone, it was most often a fatal move. Since killing someone was a second nature to him nowadays. So for him to not give Min the fatal blow was... odd.
And he wondered, why did he not want to kill Hyeon as well? That child did tried to kill him too and he had the perfect opportunity. What if he kill Hyeon as well, alongside Jian and Min?
He sighed.
Then again, if he did... he won't be able to find any other children who could replace how Lee Hyeon, Cha Jian and Lee Min meant to him. And even if there are children like that out there, it would still be different.
Guess you could say... it was good that he kept the three of them alive?
Series: 너를 기억해 / Hello Monster
Characters: Lee Junho, mentions of Park Jua, Cha Jian, Lee Hyeon, Lee Min
Summary: How could things have worked out if their lives had been different?
--------------
Lately... he has been thinking a lot. Wonder why?
To be honest, he didn't really mind having people that knows his real identity to think of him as a monster. Even if he disagreed with that view. Yet somehow lately, he felt the need to have certain children to see him as other than a monster. Why was that? Well, in case of Lee Hyeon... that's a given. But other children?
"You should try looking at your own reflection!"
He didn't realize that he even have that kind of desire until some of those children started telling him how much they hated and despised him. Or was it because the children nowadays were much more direct in speaking their minds about him? Because in the past, while people around him treated him as a monster... they never said it on his face. They never confronted him directly on how they viewed him as, since they feared of what he could be.
Then again, was it also due to the fact he had been interacting with people more now as he grew older? Because when you think about it, since he have been living under a false name; people have actually treated him nicer as any other normal people. So to have those things changed after he revealed his true self, he had to admit... that he sort of felt bad about it.
Was it because... he's grown to like being with people?
xxx
But then... what exactly does it mean to be a monster? Because he doesn't think that he was a monster. Yes, he have hurt people... but those are bad people. Was it wrong of him?
He don't hurt people who were nice to him. Jua was nice to him. She was still alive until now. Same as those children, he particularly liked them a lot. But when Hyeon adamantly told him that he refused to even want to give him understanding or how Jian chided on his actions and expressed her contempt of him... he couldn't help feeling bad about it. Because he liked them, but they did not like him back.
But then he wondered, what if... he really tried to kill them for real?
xxx
"Kill me!"
He wasn't lying then. He really had no intention of taking Jian's life then. But he had been close to doing it though. Even when he didn't really mean it. At first perhaps, he thought of not letting Jian get out of his house and hide her somewhere that no one could think of looking for her. But then she started pointing out her gun towards him—perhaps sensing his own intention—and he reacted on instincts against her.
But suppose what would have happened if Kang Eunhyeok did not come to stop him? Would he have ended up killing Jian? She did after all not putting up a fight against his chokehold; she practically challenged him to do to her as he did his other victims. Had he retained his stance even longer, the chokehold would have at least made her lose consciousness. Had he increase the pressure slightly, he could have easily stopped her breathing or broke her neck.
In that situation, would that be a good thing to him? Because the things she said, was indeed true. If he killed her, his team members would have definitely go after him. Hyeon even more. As much as that child cared about his little brother, he was aware how Hyeon care a lot about Jian.
If he killed Jian, Hyeon would've definitely not going to want to have anything to do with him. Even with Min's situation in line, Hyeon probably would still go after him. In that sense, it would still be the same scenario had he truly killed Min that night.
"As I thought... you'd be the last one..."
Oh, that night. It was pretty amazing how even then, he could think clear. Or was it by accident? It did surprise him to find out that Min was alive still. Because usually when he stabbed someone, it was most often a fatal move. Since killing someone was a second nature to him nowadays. So for him to not give Min the fatal blow was... odd.
And he wondered, why did he not want to kill Hyeon as well? That child did tried to kill him too and he had the perfect opportunity. What if he kill Hyeon as well, alongside Jian and Min?
He sighed.
Then again, if he did... he won't be able to find any other children who could replace how Lee Hyeon, Cha Jian and Lee Min meant to him. And even if there are children like that out there, it would still be different.
Guess you could say... it was good that he kept the three of them alive?
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