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Title: Too Harsh
Series: 내일 / Tomorrow
Characters: Park Joonggil, Gu Ryeon, Jang Jae-hee, Jeon Soo-in, Lim Ryunggu
Summary: For quite some time, he had been feeling bitter towards Gu Ryeon. While it might just be his pride, he wanted her to understand what he felt. But now, he wondered if he had been a bit too harsh on her...
-------------------------------
"How long has it been?"
Lim Ryunggu glanced up from his desk as he gave Ryeon a blank look. He started pulling out some folders and files as if trying to appear busy.
"Unh... the last case we got was—" Ryunggu gave a cheeky glance towards his team leader, whose face started to turn sour at him. He grinned at her before setting the folders aside.
"I'm just joking..." said Ryunggu before shrugging at her. "It's been 29 days, 15 hours, 45 min—well, boss... you can always go now to catch up to them. I'm sure the girls didn't get too far yet."
That drew a wide smile from Ryeon as the pink-haired lady jumped out of her desk and ran out of their office without much words. Ryunggu snorted at her before turning back to his computer.
"Finally..."
Finally, Ms Gu would stop being all mopey and grumpy at work all day. Because at last Mr Park would finally be allowed to go free from his month-long detention. That should be great news for many people, especially himself.
×××
She barely reached the centre courtyard of Jumadeung's lobby when she saw a fleeting glimpse of both Soo-in and Jae-hee. Ryeon immediately chased after them before they could reach the portal to hell without her.
"Wait—!"
The girls turned around in surprise and then smiled as they realised that it was Ryeon who have been calling at them.
"Are you guys heading down to pick up Joo—I mean, Team Leader Park from his confinement?"
The girls giggled at her before Jae-hee corrected her. "You mean, Grim reaper... Park. Tea—I mean, Reaper Park was supposed to be demoted for the rest of the remaining period of his punishment."
Ryeon just smiled at the younger reaper as she understood the struggle that they have to face, to have to treat someone who has always been a direct superior as someone of the same rank. Well, it's something they have to deal with... sooner or later. Ryeon just ushered them along and the three of them headed towards the portal to hell where Joonggil had been confined in.
Even when she used to come to this place (and spent hundreds of years being punished here) before, she could never really get used to being in hell. The air here was always so suffocating, the darkness was always so far-reaching... just being here could sap every strength that you have. It was an experience she never really paid attention to in the past, yet ever since becoming a grim reaper she realised how daunting hell could really be. It wasn't someplace she'd want people she cared about to be in.
So that was why she couldn't stop worrying about Joonggil the whole month he was supposed to be confined here in hell. Even if it was just for a month, she couldn't stand the thought of Joonggil being here alone by himself. And he had been hurt the last time she saw him, and his injuries wouldn't be able to heal themselves during that span of time.
(It was also because of this that Ryunggu had been troubled. While Ryeon had made it possible for him to be promoted to the rank of Manager, he couldn't really quite enjoy his first month of being one due to a certain team manager. Aside from their own work for monitoring humans who were at risk of becoming suicidal, Ryunggu had a hard time making sure that Ryeon didn't try to sneak over to check on Joonggil without permission. If only they could get more new employees into the team...)
"Here we are..." said Soo-in before raising her permission tag to lower the protective barrier.
"Team Leader! Joonggil-ah!" the three of them exclaimed immediately.
Because at the centre of the confinement room, Park Joonggil was now lying on his side on the cold hard floor, unmoving.
×××
"Wake up! Park Joonggil! Say something!"
"Open up your eyes!"
It felt as if her world had collapsed right in front of her. Before she could think of anything Ryeon's feet already started running and she had Joonggil's body in her arms in the next moment. She didn't even notice Soo-in and Jae-hee's presence as the girls tried to help her by trying to unlock the cuffs and chains binding Joonggil's arms and legs.
There's nothing she could do to reassure herself that Joonggil was fine. Since all of them were grim reapers, neither of them was technically alive so she couldn't check for his pulse. And as much as Jumadeung gave a semblance of life to them on an everyday basis, none of that made any difference here. Ryeon's sole fear would be that Joonggil's soul might not be able to stand being in this place for so long...
"Wake up... Joonggil-ah! It's time for us to get outta here."
Ryeon wrapped her arms around his body tighter, hoping that it could do something to warm him up. Dammit, Ha Daesu! What has he done to Joonggil? If anything happens to Joonggil...
"It's already a month, you can finally leave this place. Wake up... my husband!"
Both Jae-hee and Soo-in stared at each in surprise as Ryeon paid no heed to them. Tears started falling down her cheeks as various horrible thoughts started to enter her mind. If Joonggil did not start showing any responses after that, Ryeon could have just bawled her eyes out all day there...
Joonggil's eyes fluttered open slowly, much to Ryeon's relief.
"My... wife?" he asked in confusion as Ryeon hurriedly wiped the tears on her cheeks away.
"Why... did you take so long to respond to me?" she asked as Joonggil gave her an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry... for worrying you, my dearest wife..."
Joonggil started to push himself to stand up, but since all of his strength had left him the movement did nothing much in his favour. Jae-hee and Soo-in immediately hurried over to help Ryeon with him as the three of them carried Joonggil out of the dark room.
It wasn't long after that when Joonggil passed out again.
×××
The next moment he opened his eyes again, he was back on his bed in his quarters at Jumadeung. The place was the same as the last he remembered it, though it felt as if it had been ages since he lay on this bed.
Joonggil turned his head to his side... and he felt as if his breath was caught in his throat. There was something else that was different for him at this moment. It was the fact that Ryeon was lying next to him at his bedside, something that he couldn't dream of happening in a thousand years. She was so beautiful... he thought as Joonggil tried to reach out to touch her sleeping face.
The illusion of peace immediately shattered the moment his fingers grazed Ryeon's cheeks.
"My dear... how are you feeling?"
It may just be him still being lethargic after the ordeal he had gone through, but hearing Ryeon addressing him so sweetly made him feel so good. Joonggil smiled.
"It's nice to be able to see you again, Ryeon-ah."
"I'm sorry..." Ryeon started to say, "It always seems... that I always caused you trouble—"
Joonggil frowned at that. "Ryeon, what did I say before? None of this was your fault. And what I did—"
Ryeon nodded slowly. "I know... you said you didn't do it because of me..."
Joonggil smiled weakly at her before trying to get up. Seeing him struggle so much to sit up Ryeon hurriedly help him up and placed some more pillows behind him.
Joonggil snorted at her. "You're really starting to understand my feelings, aren't you... Ryeon-ah?"
"What d'you mean—?" Ryeon exclaimed in alarm.
He just grinned at her. "Earlier... I heard your voice. Calling me your husband."
Ryeon's eyes immediately widened after that as she turned her face away, cheeks red. Joonggil just shook his head at the sight. And that reminded him of an unfinished conversation that he had wanted to resolve...
"Ryeon. Did you remember asking me before... on why I decided to become a grim reaper?"
Ryeon immediately stiffened after hearing that but then slowly nodded her head to let him continue.
×××
Ryeon let out a soft sigh before running her fingers over Joonggil's sleeping face. She gently brushed her fingers over the old cuts and bruises on Joonggil's face that he acquired after his last brawl with Ha Daesu, and within minutes the torn skin and clotted blood started to mend and heal themselves. It was the first time she had ever seen Joonggil sleep so peacefully; barring the first few years after their marriage when they slept together, after they were old enough to be allowed to sleep in the same quarters.
She frowned again as she recalled the things Joonggil has said to her earlier.
"I couldn't reconcile with myself or anyone else after your death. I could no longer trust the people around me who so easily place their own judgement on you despite your innocence. I could no longer bear to remain in the presence of a mother who could be so unfeeling as to immediately order for your body to be disposed of, despite how she was the one who kept insisting that you kill yourself to protect the family's honour. I couldn't even bear facing your family after your death. I wanted to die and join you in death, yet since I couldn't bring myself to do it I just left everything behind as wandered off alone. Every moment I was alive felt like dragging my feet into the unknown. I couldn't even remember how it used to feel like being myself."
"Sadness and rage. Distrust and despair. And... lethargy. The person looks exactly like me but that's not me."
It was exactly what he used to say to her before...
She thought about the last conversation she had with the Director, on the true reason why she made her lead the Risk Management team. She remembered the Director's passing comment about how she still needed to resolve her unresolved connection with Joonggil. She used to think that she was the only one who was hurting. But then it turned out that she had been wrong about that.
"Your death hurt me so much, the fact that we parted in such a way filled me with deep sorrow. To top it all off, I was angry. I was angry at you for leaving me behind. I was angry at those people who indirectly cause your death with their thoughtless words. But most of all, I was angry at myself. I was angry that there was nothing I could do to stop all those false rumours from circulating. I was angry that nothing I could do would stop those people from running their mouths without care. I was angry at myself for failing to protect you."
For some reason, she was reminded about the last time she talked to Joonggil in the confinement hell.
"I guess, it means that we're even now."
Ryeon thought back about the night when she had scolded Joonggil for attacking the villagers who had slandered her honour thoughtlessly. She thought back about the many nights her husband had worried for her, unable to allow himself to sleep properly out of concern that she may try to hurt herself again if he ever let his guard down. She thought about her feelings about Chohui, and how frustrated she had felt about the internet trolls and tabloid reporters who refused to stop posting false rumours about Chohui and how they didn't even bother correcting the wrongs they've done once the truth of the matter was revealed because they think that the truth was not important. She thought about how angry she felt at the vlogger who kept posting up false speculations about Chohui to the point that she didn't even care about having herself seen online as she beat up the boy.
If she were to compare what her husband had done back then and what she did to Chohui's online trolls, the two incidents were not that much different. So if she had to draw parallels to what she had done back then with how Joonggil had taken full responsibility for Chohui's issue—Ryeon chuckled bitterly—he was right. They did get even with each other.
"It wasn't due to my feelings for you when I went to save you. It was because of my pride."
Back then, she was sure that Joonggil had said those things because he didn't want her to feel burdened that he decided to take full responsibility for her causing so much trouble in the Land of the Living. But now she started to wonder about her own actions, thinking that killing herself would've solved everything. Perhaps back then she had been prideful as well. She may have thought that Joonggil was better off not having her as his wife and that killing herself was the right thing to do. But that thought was wrong.
Ryeon let out another sigh as she continued watching Joonggil sleep. It took her this long to learn this lesson, she's such a fool.
Every reaper who works for Jumadeung had their own reasons for working here. To have a better chance at life in their next reincarnation, to redeem their sins from their past life and untangle the bad karma that they have—or in the case of Choi Junwoong last time, to shorten the period he has to remain in a coma, as well as get better chances in his life that used to be affected by the karmas from one of his past life. That was usually the case for all of the reapers in Jumadeung. It was also what she thought was the case for Joonggil. But it turned out that it wasn't the case for him. Joonggil didn't choose to become a reaper to have a better chance at life for his next reincarnation, he decided to be one because he didn't see any point in being reborn again. How could he... when there wouldn't be any chance for him to see her again?
"The first time after my death I asked if it's possible for me to see you again. I was told that it would be impossible even if you and I did end up reincarnated into the same time period again. Not that I could even meet you in the underworld as well. Since the thread of fates that bound the two of us had been severed."
"So I drank the forgetful soup and allowed myself to be reincarnated again. Because they said that it's the best choice for me. I would be given new threads of fates and lead a completely different life, unlike the one before. Alas, that turned out not happening as intended. Even when the memories had long left me, my heart still yearned for you. I didn't want anyone else to replace you as my fated person. Not to mention that the scars I received from the previous life made it hard for me to live on happily in that new life."
Ryeon reached out to hold Joonggil's hand before intertwining their fingers together. Perhaps both of them had been really harsh on each other. Perhaps it was high time for the two of them to start forgiving themselves and move on from their painful past.
Time for them to start anew.
Ryeon cast a long look at their intertwined hands before noticing the many threads that still remained tied on her wrist. All of the severed threads that she had on her when she killed herself...
Ryeon started to untangle one thread from her wrist before wrapping the other end around Joonggil's wrist. Once she reached the end she tied it securely so that the thread wouldn't slip off his wrist so easily this time. Once she's done that, she grasped Joonggil's hand again before leaning her head next to his.
"That should do it," she whispered softly to herself before admiring her work.
It'll probably take another few hundred years before both of them could be reincarnated in another life. But at least this way, when that time comes they could still see each other again. Until that time, she will be content with being together with him as grim reapers.
Series: 내일 / Tomorrow
Characters: Park Joonggil, Gu Ryeon, Jang Jae-hee, Jeon Soo-in, Lim Ryunggu
Summary: For quite some time, he had been feeling bitter towards Gu Ryeon. While it might just be his pride, he wanted her to understand what he felt. But now, he wondered if he had been a bit too harsh on her...
-------------------------------
"How long has it been?"
Lim Ryunggu glanced up from his desk as he gave Ryeon a blank look. He started pulling out some folders and files as if trying to appear busy.
"Unh... the last case we got was—" Ryunggu gave a cheeky glance towards his team leader, whose face started to turn sour at him. He grinned at her before setting the folders aside.
"I'm just joking..." said Ryunggu before shrugging at her. "It's been 29 days, 15 hours, 45 min—well, boss... you can always go now to catch up to them. I'm sure the girls didn't get too far yet."
That drew a wide smile from Ryeon as the pink-haired lady jumped out of her desk and ran out of their office without much words. Ryunggu snorted at her before turning back to his computer.
"Finally..."
Finally, Ms Gu would stop being all mopey and grumpy at work all day. Because at last Mr Park would finally be allowed to go free from his month-long detention. That should be great news for many people, especially himself.
×××
She barely reached the centre courtyard of Jumadeung's lobby when she saw a fleeting glimpse of both Soo-in and Jae-hee. Ryeon immediately chased after them before they could reach the portal to hell without her.
"Wait—!"
The girls turned around in surprise and then smiled as they realised that it was Ryeon who have been calling at them.
"Are you guys heading down to pick up Joo—I mean, Team Leader Park from his confinement?"
The girls giggled at her before Jae-hee corrected her. "You mean, Grim reaper... Park. Tea—I mean, Reaper Park was supposed to be demoted for the rest of the remaining period of his punishment."
Ryeon just smiled at the younger reaper as she understood the struggle that they have to face, to have to treat someone who has always been a direct superior as someone of the same rank. Well, it's something they have to deal with... sooner or later. Ryeon just ushered them along and the three of them headed towards the portal to hell where Joonggil had been confined in.
Even when she used to come to this place (and spent hundreds of years being punished here) before, she could never really get used to being in hell. The air here was always so suffocating, the darkness was always so far-reaching... just being here could sap every strength that you have. It was an experience she never really paid attention to in the past, yet ever since becoming a grim reaper she realised how daunting hell could really be. It wasn't someplace she'd want people she cared about to be in.
So that was why she couldn't stop worrying about Joonggil the whole month he was supposed to be confined here in hell. Even if it was just for a month, she couldn't stand the thought of Joonggil being here alone by himself. And he had been hurt the last time she saw him, and his injuries wouldn't be able to heal themselves during that span of time.
(It was also because of this that Ryunggu had been troubled. While Ryeon had made it possible for him to be promoted to the rank of Manager, he couldn't really quite enjoy his first month of being one due to a certain team manager. Aside from their own work for monitoring humans who were at risk of becoming suicidal, Ryunggu had a hard time making sure that Ryeon didn't try to sneak over to check on Joonggil without permission. If only they could get more new employees into the team...)
"Here we are..." said Soo-in before raising her permission tag to lower the protective barrier.
"Team Leader! Joonggil-ah!" the three of them exclaimed immediately.
Because at the centre of the confinement room, Park Joonggil was now lying on his side on the cold hard floor, unmoving.
×××
"Wake up! Park Joonggil! Say something!"
"Open up your eyes!"
It felt as if her world had collapsed right in front of her. Before she could think of anything Ryeon's feet already started running and she had Joonggil's body in her arms in the next moment. She didn't even notice Soo-in and Jae-hee's presence as the girls tried to help her by trying to unlock the cuffs and chains binding Joonggil's arms and legs.
There's nothing she could do to reassure herself that Joonggil was fine. Since all of them were grim reapers, neither of them was technically alive so she couldn't check for his pulse. And as much as Jumadeung gave a semblance of life to them on an everyday basis, none of that made any difference here. Ryeon's sole fear would be that Joonggil's soul might not be able to stand being in this place for so long...
"Wake up... Joonggil-ah! It's time for us to get outta here."
Ryeon wrapped her arms around his body tighter, hoping that it could do something to warm him up. Dammit, Ha Daesu! What has he done to Joonggil? If anything happens to Joonggil...
"It's already a month, you can finally leave this place. Wake up... my husband!"
Both Jae-hee and Soo-in stared at each in surprise as Ryeon paid no heed to them. Tears started falling down her cheeks as various horrible thoughts started to enter her mind. If Joonggil did not start showing any responses after that, Ryeon could have just bawled her eyes out all day there...
Joonggil's eyes fluttered open slowly, much to Ryeon's relief.
"My... wife?" he asked in confusion as Ryeon hurriedly wiped the tears on her cheeks away.
"Why... did you take so long to respond to me?" she asked as Joonggil gave her an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry... for worrying you, my dearest wife..."
Joonggil started to push himself to stand up, but since all of his strength had left him the movement did nothing much in his favour. Jae-hee and Soo-in immediately hurried over to help Ryeon with him as the three of them carried Joonggil out of the dark room.
It wasn't long after that when Joonggil passed out again.
×××
The next moment he opened his eyes again, he was back on his bed in his quarters at Jumadeung. The place was the same as the last he remembered it, though it felt as if it had been ages since he lay on this bed.
Joonggil turned his head to his side... and he felt as if his breath was caught in his throat. There was something else that was different for him at this moment. It was the fact that Ryeon was lying next to him at his bedside, something that he couldn't dream of happening in a thousand years. She was so beautiful... he thought as Joonggil tried to reach out to touch her sleeping face.
The illusion of peace immediately shattered the moment his fingers grazed Ryeon's cheeks.
"My dear... how are you feeling?"
It may just be him still being lethargic after the ordeal he had gone through, but hearing Ryeon addressing him so sweetly made him feel so good. Joonggil smiled.
"It's nice to be able to see you again, Ryeon-ah."
"I'm sorry..." Ryeon started to say, "It always seems... that I always caused you trouble—"
Joonggil frowned at that. "Ryeon, what did I say before? None of this was your fault. And what I did—"
Ryeon nodded slowly. "I know... you said you didn't do it because of me..."
Joonggil smiled weakly at her before trying to get up. Seeing him struggle so much to sit up Ryeon hurriedly help him up and placed some more pillows behind him.
Joonggil snorted at her. "You're really starting to understand my feelings, aren't you... Ryeon-ah?"
"What d'you mean—?" Ryeon exclaimed in alarm.
He just grinned at her. "Earlier... I heard your voice. Calling me your husband."
Ryeon's eyes immediately widened after that as she turned her face away, cheeks red. Joonggil just shook his head at the sight. And that reminded him of an unfinished conversation that he had wanted to resolve...
"Ryeon. Did you remember asking me before... on why I decided to become a grim reaper?"
Ryeon immediately stiffened after hearing that but then slowly nodded her head to let him continue.
×××
Ryeon let out a soft sigh before running her fingers over Joonggil's sleeping face. She gently brushed her fingers over the old cuts and bruises on Joonggil's face that he acquired after his last brawl with Ha Daesu, and within minutes the torn skin and clotted blood started to mend and heal themselves. It was the first time she had ever seen Joonggil sleep so peacefully; barring the first few years after their marriage when they slept together, after they were old enough to be allowed to sleep in the same quarters.
She frowned again as she recalled the things Joonggil has said to her earlier.
"I couldn't reconcile with myself or anyone else after your death. I could no longer trust the people around me who so easily place their own judgement on you despite your innocence. I could no longer bear to remain in the presence of a mother who could be so unfeeling as to immediately order for your body to be disposed of, despite how she was the one who kept insisting that you kill yourself to protect the family's honour. I couldn't even bear facing your family after your death. I wanted to die and join you in death, yet since I couldn't bring myself to do it I just left everything behind as wandered off alone. Every moment I was alive felt like dragging my feet into the unknown. I couldn't even remember how it used to feel like being myself."
"Sadness and rage. Distrust and despair. And... lethargy. The person looks exactly like me but that's not me."
It was exactly what he used to say to her before...
She thought about the last conversation she had with the Director, on the true reason why she made her lead the Risk Management team. She remembered the Director's passing comment about how she still needed to resolve her unresolved connection with Joonggil. She used to think that she was the only one who was hurting. But then it turned out that she had been wrong about that.
"Your death hurt me so much, the fact that we parted in such a way filled me with deep sorrow. To top it all off, I was angry. I was angry at you for leaving me behind. I was angry at those people who indirectly cause your death with their thoughtless words. But most of all, I was angry at myself. I was angry that there was nothing I could do to stop all those false rumours from circulating. I was angry that nothing I could do would stop those people from running their mouths without care. I was angry at myself for failing to protect you."
For some reason, she was reminded about the last time she talked to Joonggil in the confinement hell.
"I guess, it means that we're even now."
Ryeon thought back about the night when she had scolded Joonggil for attacking the villagers who had slandered her honour thoughtlessly. She thought back about the many nights her husband had worried for her, unable to allow himself to sleep properly out of concern that she may try to hurt herself again if he ever let his guard down. She thought about her feelings about Chohui, and how frustrated she had felt about the internet trolls and tabloid reporters who refused to stop posting false rumours about Chohui and how they didn't even bother correcting the wrongs they've done once the truth of the matter was revealed because they think that the truth was not important. She thought about how angry she felt at the vlogger who kept posting up false speculations about Chohui to the point that she didn't even care about having herself seen online as she beat up the boy.
If she were to compare what her husband had done back then and what she did to Chohui's online trolls, the two incidents were not that much different. So if she had to draw parallels to what she had done back then with how Joonggil had taken full responsibility for Chohui's issue—Ryeon chuckled bitterly—he was right. They did get even with each other.
"It wasn't due to my feelings for you when I went to save you. It was because of my pride."
Back then, she was sure that Joonggil had said those things because he didn't want her to feel burdened that he decided to take full responsibility for her causing so much trouble in the Land of the Living. But now she started to wonder about her own actions, thinking that killing herself would've solved everything. Perhaps back then she had been prideful as well. She may have thought that Joonggil was better off not having her as his wife and that killing herself was the right thing to do. But that thought was wrong.
Ryeon let out another sigh as she continued watching Joonggil sleep. It took her this long to learn this lesson, she's such a fool.
Every reaper who works for Jumadeung had their own reasons for working here. To have a better chance at life in their next reincarnation, to redeem their sins from their past life and untangle the bad karma that they have—or in the case of Choi Junwoong last time, to shorten the period he has to remain in a coma, as well as get better chances in his life that used to be affected by the karmas from one of his past life. That was usually the case for all of the reapers in Jumadeung. It was also what she thought was the case for Joonggil. But it turned out that it wasn't the case for him. Joonggil didn't choose to become a reaper to have a better chance at life for his next reincarnation, he decided to be one because he didn't see any point in being reborn again. How could he... when there wouldn't be any chance for him to see her again?
"The first time after my death I asked if it's possible for me to see you again. I was told that it would be impossible even if you and I did end up reincarnated into the same time period again. Not that I could even meet you in the underworld as well. Since the thread of fates that bound the two of us had been severed."
"So I drank the forgetful soup and allowed myself to be reincarnated again. Because they said that it's the best choice for me. I would be given new threads of fates and lead a completely different life, unlike the one before. Alas, that turned out not happening as intended. Even when the memories had long left me, my heart still yearned for you. I didn't want anyone else to replace you as my fated person. Not to mention that the scars I received from the previous life made it hard for me to live on happily in that new life."
Ryeon reached out to hold Joonggil's hand before intertwining their fingers together. Perhaps both of them had been really harsh on each other. Perhaps it was high time for the two of them to start forgiving themselves and move on from their painful past.
Time for them to start anew.
Ryeon cast a long look at their intertwined hands before noticing the many threads that still remained tied on her wrist. All of the severed threads that she had on her when she killed herself...
Ryeon started to untangle one thread from her wrist before wrapping the other end around Joonggil's wrist. Once she reached the end she tied it securely so that the thread wouldn't slip off his wrist so easily this time. Once she's done that, she grasped Joonggil's hand again before leaning her head next to his.
"That should do it," she whispered softly to herself before admiring her work.
It'll probably take another few hundred years before both of them could be reincarnated in another life. But at least this way, when that time comes they could still see each other again. Until that time, she will be content with being together with him as grim reapers.
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